Lyrical Lavender Life

From the depths of my soul Come hunger for more love And thirst for more healing. For so long I have ached From a loneliness wound Though loving friends And abundant family surround. In the light of day In the black of night I work on dealing. For so long this wound Held prisoner my focus Though the ache not acute Nothing else could be found. Feared alone in my pain Life seemed to be my sentence For crimes I'd forgotten or never done. This drink of depression Though not my own vice Was the weapon Rage used to bring innocense down. As I've grown quite aware, A tension leaves the air When I realize I'm not alone anymore. For the wrath was brought down Making no waves for himself Because help made no sound. So I gather my memories up for now. As loss takes it's toll Away all the years go When I vow to keep only the good. These memories somehow Seem to hold more value now Than they did when they were new This great pretender leaves without a bow. I may have his blood And h...

Passing through space All voices are silent No see-ers can see tomorrow Echoes of moments past Lurk looking for meaning Only time will tell happy from sorrow As the new day approaches The dawn of change shows From the passion of revolution No one can borrow With a high flying conscience And a low spilling pride The birth of different Could happen tomorrow.

As I lay here alone in the dark I'm reminded of how we've come so far Talking, expressing, Refraining from repressing. I wonder how far Does love stretch or expand, I'd gladly cross oceans Just to hold your hand. As time is a theme I cannot grasp and hold, I know that as it passes Our story unfolds. Though without knowing Minutes or hours or days, I fight the swift current To follow your way. And if I am swept away In the search for my quest, I hope you remember that By knowing you I have been blessed.

Yay! Video! This is so great! I figured out an easy way to do video so I should be able to post one this weekend. Yay! Check back soon.

Thinking about life as it's lived day by day and not about the entire journey is very difficult for me. I'm a planner, as much as I try to fight it, and I do some preparations for day to day. But I am generally a "big picture" kind of person, but I'm trying to focus on taking "One Step at a Time" (thank you, Jordin Sparks) and remember that's "It's all about the climb". (Ok, so even a 32 year old can find inspiration in the songs of Hannah Montana / Miley Cyrus and Jordin Sparks). I wrote this to help me remember to appreciate each step. Looking up at the mountain before me I take a deep breath, drawing my foot up. Looking for a hold to grasp tightly, My sole searches for a place to stand. My soul searches for a place to rest. Seeking desperately that next stronghold place I find it and propel myself off, up to and grab. While it seemed diliberate, I felt the rush of a risk taken And achievement earned. With little to gain at one time...

Real life has no casting calls, but there is no shortage of characters. - klh

Coming to you live from my iPhone. Gosh I love that phone. I'll be working on my blog and expect to make my first post in a long time by Saturday. This is a test. This is soooo cool. Thanks for reading. Come back soon!

With the economy causing so much stress for everyone right now, it's hard to relax and achieve that easy-going, go-with-the-flow attitude and optimistic mood that is the nature of a lot of people when things are going well. It's common for people to have bend a little bit to deal with stress, but it's not fair for so many people to come so close to the edge of breaking before their stress can be relieved. Sometimes when bad things happen to good people, we wonder why, we think it's not fair and we question the system. Sometimes it seems that the system works for no one but the system itself. Sometimes feeling like we have given and given and given so much without taking back our fair share puts a huge strain on our ability to trust that the give and take of life that creates balance is still there and it leaves us questioning whether it is still a concept that applies to all. Now, please let me make note: I can't complain... I have a job, a place to sleep, a car t...

The last six months have seen many changes in my life. Now, I want a new look, a new feel, and a new presence on the blog-front. I will be making changes to this blog this week and by Tuesday hope to make a new post that will begin the commitment of weekly posts to this blog (because daily seems too daunting a challenge for me presently). If you have been checking in for a while and have been disappointed at the lack of posts, I hope you will be excited for the upcoming changes and will return to read here weekly. Thanks for hanging in there with me. Happy Martin Luther King, Jr. Day! Until Tuesday...... Hope. Peace. Change. Don't forget to watch history in the making on Inauguration Day- Jan. 20, 2009.

Wow... Ok, so it's been a month of Sundays, at least, since I last blogged. Sorry. Life has taken me by the tail lately and it's been a struggle to accomplish the "must do" list, much less the "want to" list. So, here I am again. I'm not making any promises that this will be consistent, by any means. But when things strike me as appropriate to write about in a public blog, I will. Ok. To catch you all up: School: Clinical Psych Grad Program... itense, challenging, hopefully as rewarding as I imagined, overwhelming at times, but I'm feeling like it might actually be possibly. If the end of the semester would just hurry up and get here!....aaahhhhh! Work: Looking for something more up my alley, but hanging in there with the international education department. Hoping for a position within the psych/counseling field next year. No practicum this summer, so have to find a back-up idea. Family/Friends: Things shifting, but in a p...

{So... I'm back. Perhaps not in as full force as I would like to be, but as much as time and sanity will allow. Speaking of sanity... I must explain where I've been. (Well I don't have to... but I'm gonna.) :) This fall I've started back to school studying for my M.S. in Clinical Psychology. I took a couple weeks off before school started and that's when I dropped off of the LLL-Radar. So, now that things are in full-swing at school and life is ultimately crazy and thrilling.... I figured by now I must have something to share with the world.} Sigmund Freud.... famous psychologist...... psychoanalysis..... structural model of personality.... oedipus complex ..... interpretation of dreams ......... and free association. Free association is something I like doing for fun, and it's a great way to get to know people. Just thought I'd share a little bit and ease back into blogging again daily (I hope). While I don't subscribe to the full let...

I said "I'll do it" And I did I said "I'll finish" So I'm trying I said "I'll never" So I won't I said "I'd go" And so I went I said "I'll stay" And here I am I said "I love you" And I still do. I'm keeping my word I'm doing my best When it all goes bad I'll clean up the mess I'm keeping my word No matter the test. Some 'word's are worth keeping While others are not Sometimes it is better to get off the pot* I'm keeping my word.. this time next time...maybe not.

I am posting a poll to get your opinions on navigating the game of life... specifically the academic track. Please only take it once since you can select more than one answer. I'll get back to you on this issue of "Navigating Life" ..... Thanks for your input.

In light of my post about the Knoxville shooting, I have been a little down but today I see a ray of hope in the world thanks to the stance taken by one Miss Keira Knightly . This beautiful woman who has portrayed so many amazing characters, turns out to be a pretty amazing character herself (in real life). She bravely stood up to the 'movie gods' who wanted to increase her bust-line to help increase their bottom-line. (Watch the video- http://video.yahoo.com/watch/3191713/9030438 ). She is perfect just as she is, plus she is an incredible actress and in my opinion has a captivating presence on film... would two cup sizes really change any of that? Newsflash: NO! Keira Knightly is perfect just the way she is. (If they think she is 'imperfect', I wonder how much plastic surgery or digital editing they would think I need...?) This is a great wake up call to women and young girls everywhere. Society is so focused on superficiality, that a woman's looks are of the utm...

I apologize for posting so late, I don't live under a rock as it probably seems, I have just been busy with the opera production... I noticed a video on Yahoo's News page a few minutes ago about a shooting that took place in a church in Knoxville, TN just yesterday (Sunday) morning. http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080728/ap_on_re_us/church_shooting I watched the videos associated with the story and learned that police had found a letter in the shooter's home, written by the shooter, that explained his frustration with not being able to find a job and his apparently passionate opinion regarding the 'liberal movement'. He confessed that he had intended to continue shooting people until the police arrived and he expected to be taken out by them to stop him. He entered the church with a guitar case that concealed his gun and when he pulled out the rifle, he killed one man who tried to stop him from shooting others. Eight others were injured and in serious condition, with t...

The Road Trip of Your Life OK... so usually I don't put much stock in these little quizzes that you find online.... they're just for fun, right? You see romantic love as what's most important in life. A deep connection with someone else is the primary thing you crave. You live a life of leisure. You take your time in every aspect of life and enjoy it to the fullest. You are all about risk and randomness in your life. You travel off the beaten path... in fact, you're often the one carving the way! You are able to find a fairly healthy balance between work and play. You work when you need to, but you never let yourself burn out. In another life, you could have been a great artist. You trust your creative instincts enough to let them lead you. This one hit the nail on the head! I'm still thinking about my road trip / vacation and already wishing for another! Anyone interested? ************************************************** What Advanced Degree Should You Get? You...

Vacation : Sun, waves, music and laughs! We had an amazing vacation and I wouldn't trade those times for anything. I'll give you the basics of how it all played out. We had a plan, but it was fairly fluid and ended up working out much better than originally planned. Pictures coming soon, I promise. Thursday - We drove 8 hours to DC, went to Wolf Trap and saw the Indigo Girls and Brandi Carlile in concert. The Indigo Girls were amazing, as always; but honestly I had not heard Brandi before and was pleasantly surprised at how much I loved her sound. She was a great addition to Amy and Emily's incredibly tight harmony. I definitely have a new favorite song- Brandi Carlile's "The Story" is spectacularly raw and intense. I LOVE it! (Apparently it became well known because it was played on "Grey's Anatomy"... with music like that in the background, it must be a great show! Almost enough to make me want to get cable~ lol. Really though, give it a li...

This new love came in the dawn This new love is completely turned on This time when we laughed our souls felt the shake This time when we kissed it took away all heartache This new love is greater than the old This new love has really taken hold We drove down the highway just to get away Second chances feel good I wish we could've stayed Alone on the road just your hand in mine Your smile, your song your fears left behind This is how it can be from now until end We stumbled into this let our new life begin I want to be with you no miles to separate I want to be there when they realize your fate We each walk our path yes, this I understand But life is so much better holding your hand. This new love is my most precious gift God has blessed me with an attitude shift Before when we loved I loved you so much But this time I feel more than an ache for your touch I cannot imagine the thought of you going away For an month, a week, an hour or a day So much of my soul is devoured by yours I...

Remember the other day when I mentioned I needed to RELAX and enjoy my summer more? Well, that's what the next 4 days are going to be.... sort of. Ok, so I let go of the idealist notion that I actually know HOW to relax... lol... but I DO know how to have fun and let my hair down on a road trip! So, that's the plan. Indigo Girls concert Thursday night, visiting with some friends Friday and Saturday, seeing an opera on Saturday night and enjoying my time alone with my someone special the rest of the time! I'm SO excited! So, I won't be back on until Monday, but I promise to report everything once I return. Have a great week and weekend!

I recently saw the movie "The Bucket List" with Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman. WOW! What an amazing movie. This one definitely tugs at your heart strings and makes you want to run out and experience the adventures that life and our majestic planet has to offer. If this movie doesn't move you- see a cardiologist quick! The soundtrack includes the song "Say" by John Mayer . If you haven't heard this song before, you must be living under a rock. Well, come on out and it will be okay. Listen to the words of this song... and follow your heart. Having experienced a great loss in my life, with the death of my father, I understand what it means to have regrets. There are many things that I regret (with regards to my relationship with my father) including: things that I didn't say, but wanted to; things that I said, that I didn't mean and wished I could take back; times when I should have visited him more when he was sick and all alone; times when I sh...